From Humble Kid to Fierce Competitor
As a parent, we want our kids to be humble, kind and tender-hearted. Yet, we know that in order to succeed in any competition, they need to become incredibly competitive.
Ever wonder how you can transform a humble, well-mannered kid into a fierce competitor on the court?
This is more than just a hypothetical question, this is a critical component to unlocking your athlete’s growth.
Why?
Because players are more skilled and talented than ever. Yet also more than ever, we have skilled and talented players who can not activate their game when it matters.
Athletes with better skills than Michael Jordan, at the same age, are not even averaging double-figures or worse yet, not getting off the bench.
Part of it is athletes nowadays do not play outside, which forces them to learn the social cues of competition in a safe setting beyond the lights of an AAU or school competition.
No matter the case, this dichotomy between humble kid and fierce competitor is something you and your player will need to navigate to make the most of their athletic journey.
How to Know If You Have A Problem
I recall one day during my 10th grade year, when my Honors English teacher attended one of my games. This teacher had taught me for over a year and knew me well…off the court. What she didn’t know, was the Jason Parker who was the basketball player and animal on the court.
The day after the game she stopped me as soon as I walked into class. “Jason, I had no idea who that person was out there on the court!,” she exclaimed.
She was shocked to see me compete, yell, laugh and be anything other than the quiet, reserved and polite student she came to know.
If your kid is the same nice person on the court as he/she is at home, we have a problem.
Why?
Simply because the court is the cauldron of competition, the proverbial battlefield where the only rule is to eat or be eaten.
Not only are we doing athletes a disservice by not helping them to navigate these lines; they are also failing to access a key part of their competitive nature.
Great performers such as Shaquille O’Neal, Beyonce, Katelyn Clark and Michael Jordan, have all claimed to have alternate performance personas.
Beyonce becomes Sasha Fierce, Shaq and Jordan would make up stories about competitors in order to get fired up, Katelyn looks like she is annoyed and ready to fight at all times, but has never said a negative word off the court.
These athletes all agree that the persons they become while performing is completely different than who they are when off the stage.
The Transformation Journey
Imagine your parents (athlete’s grandparents) coming into town to see your athlete play for the first time.
What will they say?
‘Good game.’ ‘Way to play,’ or ‘Who is that kid?!!!’
To get young athletes to become the unrecognizable uber-competitive version of themselves we must first embrace the mindset and ferociousness of competition.
The court is a battlefield—a place where only the most aggressive and determined players excel.
This does not diminish the importance of respect and sportsmanship, but emphasizes the necessity of an aggressive mindset.
The transformation involves adopting a competitive mentality, shedding the humble persona, and embracing a fierce, unyielding approach.
While rules exists between the lines, as well as decorum, within these boundaries lies room for ferocious competitive spirit.
As parents, we can began to cultivate this energy within our athletes while also helping them to understand to maintain their gentleness off the court.
Developing the Aggressive Persona
One main challenge for most good kids is their tendency to avoid mistakes.
As young people who have developed an identity centered around doing the right thing, they naturally avoid doing things that are considered wrong (ie turnovers, missed shots, and even fouls - my oldest daughter used to cry every time she fouled!)
This tendency causes athletes to play timid rather than tough.
To overcome this, it's crucial that we embrace mistakes as learning opportunities.
Encouraging young athletes to make and learn from their errors without fear is vital for their growth.
Yet even more important is helping our athletes to become people who actually embrace mistakes and living without fear of messing up.
This is toughness personified and requires trust from parents.
It may mean accepting a bad grade on a test, trusting that they will course correct and improve in the class or having a rift with a friend that we allow them to learn from rather than getting angry and forcing them to fix the situation in a way that makes appeases us.
Yet another effective strategy is to create a clear mental division between off-court and on-court behavior.
Rituals such as praying for an aggressive mindset or adopting specific routines before battles can help athletes switch into their competitive persona.
This mental switch ensures they enter the game ready to compete fiercely and unhesitatingly.
Ultimately, we want athletes to view competition as an opportunity to exercise their competitive nature and exert their dominance and will power.
Most athletes are the opposite and have a prey/herd mentality, simply wanting to fit in.
When athletes begin to see competition as an opportunity to unleash their animal instincts, then you know you have a fierce competitor on your hands!
